I must start off with a confession: as you can see by the title of this blog post I have gone on not one, but two other dates with The Z Man. You see, I would have posted these blogs a long time ago as they happened but out of respect for M, (Z's ex - the one who set all this up in the first place) even though I have never actually met her, I felt like I owed her some kind of unspoken girl code. I didn't want to admit that I went on more dates for fear of hurting her. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought about the mission of this whole blog - go on one date per week for 52 weeks. Or until Mr. Right falls into my lap. (Annnny minute now, dear...) And that's exactly what I've been doing, regardless if it's with a controversial character like Mr. Z. So, if it seems like I haven't been actively dating or pursuing the mission, think again. La Blonde isn't a quitter! And on that lame ass note, let's begin:
One thing I must give Z credit for is his ability to create a very presentable meal. Call me cray cray, but I've never had a date cook for me before. Boyfriends yes, dates no. So Date #15 (and #16!) were a real treat. When I found out Date #15 consisted of homemade dinner, I immediately thought of my friend Lucia who often bitches about how men don't put in any efforts into relationships anymore: "Men these days are pussies. What's the matter, can't they cook a little dinner dish once in a while?" which pretty much translates to all men are pussies. I hear you, sister.
His apartment is located in an upscale-ish part of the city, also quite large, and was kept clean (brownie points). I noticed at least three exercise balls in the main room - one of which he sat on during dinner to work his 'core'. For dinner he made a roasted red pepper and tomato soup that he garnished with sesame seeds, a drizzle of sesame oil and parsley. (He's probably reading this in a fury screaming... "it was cilantro, you idiot!") After that we had baked salmon filets accompanied with pan seared brussels sprouts and fresh grapefruit squeezed on the salmon for flavour. Nice, huh? He talked about every aspect of his meal making skills for about a half hour, obviously proud. Pretty impressive for a bachelor at the tender age of 27; I gave him an A for effort.
After dinner, it was time for some comedic digestion. Not from me, sillies! Stop it, from the folks at Absolute Comedy! By the way, The Z Man doesn't have any wheels because he doesn't like to drive in the city. Deal breaker? C'est possible. But lucky for him, Toronto is very accessible by public transportation. And lucky for me, I love spending money on gas. Slash, he doesn't live too far from me either way. Absolute Comedy is awesome and you gotta love amateur night - 6 bucks each! I noticed we had the same sense of humour laughing mostly at the sarcastic asshole stand up acts. Good times.
Even though Z Man seemed to be doing everything right -- makes a dinner dish? Check. Pays for the night? Check. Keeps a clean home and points for date creativity? Check, check -- I felt something off about our connection. Maybe he felt it too? As I pulled up to his place to drop him off (cue awkward goodbye), I immediately started nervously blabbing about nothing (usually a defense mechanism when I'm anticipating an awkward goodbye kiss). I figured if I kept talking he can't possibly land a wet one on me. Wrong. What I worried about happening, happened: Enter Z's tongue in my mouth. Like a kamikaze of saliva to my face, Z was a man with a mission. If you know me well enough, you'd know that I pride myself on how fabulous of a kisser I am. Years of good practice. Well, unfortunately my awesome lip-locking skills were not challenged....could it have been the tongue ring he had? Maybe it was the nerves? I really try to not judge my dates until we've had at least three (unless they are one-hit-wonder online disasters, in which case I insta judge) so I thought, if he asks me out on a third date... I'll go with it.
So I went with it. Date #16 - dinner and a movie. Chez Z. That same day I was nursing my first well- deserved hangover of 2013 so I wasn't even 40 percent but I was definitely looking forward to a catered dinner dish. Again, no skimping on the presentation: first course was a beautiful-looking salad with blackerries and roasted pecans and a beet inspired dressing. Second came a lovely casserole concoction of roasted red pepper and tomato sauce over homemade chicken balls and sautéed mushrooms. Yum! Didn't know this was going to be a food blog, did ya? Oh, and I can't forget the chocolate protein balls we had for dessert. Took me like five whole minutes to eat that ball, I was savouring every. single. bite.
Next, the movie. Thoughtful that he is, he gathered some 'fight' inspired movies for us to watch since he knew that was my thang. Yup, I dig me some Chuck Norris and Kill Bill. Between my lingering hangover and the food baby I was carrying, I was looking forward to a nice, cozy, comfortable, relaxing couch. Unfortunately, this was not the case. Z has got to have the worst couch in the history of couch making: the back rest came up to about mid back, so you're forced to have amazing posture, which I do not. And if you have a large head like I do, that shit needs to be held or propped up at all times or your neck will give way. I could have said something, but I didn't want to complain, so instead I would occasionally twitch and try to adjust my neck as best as possible. My only logical option was to lean in towards him so I could relieve my neck spasm and rest my 20 lbs head on his shoulder. With his arm snuggled around me, I wondered if he thought I was trying to be romantic, a quality I know nothing of. Either way, I must of let out the loudest sigh of relief. And then I passed out, for a solid 6 minutes. Best nap ever.
The movie was done, my neck felt much better and little did I know Z Man's next mission was about to begin. Only this time I didn't even get a chance to nervously word vomit before his next kamikaze saliva attack.
Me: "Sooo, did you like the mov----tongue in my mouth?"
Z: slkdfjskjcvsdjks slurpie, slurpie lsdjfskdljf
Quite the rabid animal. I think he thought he was all Rico Suave, so I just went with it. The makeout sesh was slightly better than the first kiss, and I got to touch an #ab or two which was a nice treat. But it needed to stop there. He proudly showed off which part of his obliques he needed to work on for a fitness competition he was entering. I'm certain he'll win. Once his shirt was back on, it was time to go. We hugged, I thanked him for yet again another great time and didn't make any future plans. As I walked out he shouted 'we should do this again sometime!'. I agreed, but I secretly knew there wasn't going to be a sometime.
Meeting Z was a great experience and he's a really nice guy. I've actually learned so much from him:
1. If you care enough about yourself and your body you could actually look like a statue;
2. Some great recipes and the power of protein! Check out proteinpow.com - sorry Z, I hope I didn't just ruin your secret;
3. Even though you're kind of a horny dick, you did it in the classiest way possible... Dinner dish. So kudos kid, and good luck!
Text me if ever you're in my neck of the woods, maybe we can try a sparring match or go for protein pancakes!
La Blonde xx