_ Last weekend I attended my first ever 'singles party'. It was organized by an online dating site and thrown at a popular night club in downtown Toronto.  I didn't plan to go, but my friend Lucia's friend couldn't make it as she was stuck out in Alberta by one of those common Canadian phenomenons called 'snow storms'.  So naturally Lucia called me - one of her only other single leftovers. Well, leftover or not, I was stoked to check one of these parties out!  Armed with killer pumps and a killer traveler for our way down (ya, we're still 17 at heart) and we were ready to scope out Toronto's most eligible bachelors!  

Feeling a nice buzz with a smoke in one hand, Lucia in the other, we approached our destination. "Hey ladies, you here for the singles party?" bellowed the bouncer. Why yes, asshole, we are. What gave it away? 

There was a lineup to get in, which always makes a bar seem promising. We were welcomed by a friendly lady with a clipboard who asked for our names and just before stamping our hand, she offered to bump us to VIP.  I secretly wondered if it was because we looked like the most desperate?  But we got free coat check and a glass of champagne so if that's what desperate looks like, we took it. Lucia and I b-lined it for the bar. Vodka Redbull por favor. The first thing I noticed was the variety of men and women in the crowd; tall, short, old, young, and all races of the world. Within three minutes, an older, larger gentleman came by to hand us a sheet a paper with a bunch of questions on it - sort of like a break-the-ice kind of activity.

"So what's the most interesting thing you've done lately?"
"Coming here", said Lucia as she ordered us another round.

Next, a handsome silver fox approached us with the same paper in his hand. He asked the question "Name something on your bucket list?" that stemmed a conversation about traveling and the world, life, and so began the interview process. He was very charming, and turns out he's a standup comedian at Yuk Yuk's. He gave me his card in case I ever wanted 'a good laugh over inappropriate subject matter or to use him for tickets'. Sign me up!  Within 6 minutes of being at this place, I got hit on my two men (regardless that they were my fathers age and one was obese) and asked out on a date. Not bad, I thought. Could be worse.

Lucia and I moved locations, and by locations we literally walked to the other end of the bar and assumed our positions. Twenty-seven seconds later and in come the next two prospects.  My dude was 23, cute, shorter than I, with a preppy look; vest and tie, clean shaven with a shaved head. Here's how the conversation went:

Him: "So how many guys hit on you tonight?"
Me: "Including you? 2.5."
Him: "Am I the .5?"
Me: "It's possible."
Him: "I like your sarcasm. Have you ever had a threesome?"
Me: (For some reason it didn't even phase me that he asked that question. I was more concerned about what part of me suggested I was interested in having one.) "Um, no. Sorry."
Him: "I just had one this week. Three guys, one girl. You should try it sometime."
Me: "Three?! Holy fuck. Poor girl... did she like it?"
Him: "I think so. She didn't really have a choice though..."

I wish I was making up this entire conversation, but alas, shit be real. At that point, I needed another seven drinks and wondered if Lucia's conversation with her winner was as riveting, slash, as disturbing as mine.  After he basically told me he raped a girl, whom by the way claims he's still friends with, I knew it was time to go. Time to go like a year ago.  I told him I was going to blog about him because he was good material and all flattered he agreed that that was fine. Maybe he didn't believe me. Whatever. Thanks, 2.5!

I interrupted Lucia who was deeply in the bag and aggressively discussing Croatian politics with her dude. We grabbed our coats, braced the wintery grossness and stumbled off to the next adventure of the night - a friend's birthday.  I could feel a blackout night coming on.  On a positive note, I did appreciate the fact that men actually had the balls to come and chat with us that night.  Lord knows, how many times you're at the bar and making eyes with a cutie all night, you think he's going to come by and chat, and then *poof* ...disappears into thin air.

Not sure I'll ever go to another 'singles party' again, but it was definitely worth checking it out.  We came, we saw, we conquered... nothing. Feeling an even nicer buzz with a smoke in one hand, Lucia in the other, we approached our next destination.....

La Blonde xx

_So New Years is over and not two weeks into January and BAM! a sea of red enters our shops and vomits in our face – red roses, red chocolates, red candies, red teddy bears, red clothing, red puppies… by the end of it all, you start to see red. All of this hype leading up to just one day.  One inevitable day.  You know which day it is, and it doesn’t need any further introduction.

For many singles across the planet, the month of February is commonly associated with one of the loneliest times of the year. You get “couples” deals in your Groupon emails, commercials tell you exactly what you’re significant other would LOVE this Vodka Day, seems everyone randomly asks you ‘so what are you doing for the Big V Day?’ and all you picture is how great your fist in their face would feel.  I get it… I’ve been there many times. Usually calling up a friend and drinking Pinot (glassware optional) on her couch, watching violent war movies yet secretly checking my phone every 5 seconds to see if someone… anyone… would ask me to be their Vomitine.

Well, I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be this way. It shouldn’t be this way! So, put down the bottle. 

This year, I’ve made a point to have fun with Valium Day, and embrace it for all its worth. It’s not going anywhere, so might as well reap the benefits… and there definitely are benefits!

Benefits of Being Single on Valentine’s

1. Chocolate is everywhere… and it’s already on sale!

Think about that. When can you ever find Lindor’s or Ferrero Rocher – the multi kind – on sale? Grab a bunch and meet me in 10. I’ll grab the flaming red gummy lips… hello, also on sale!

2. Go to the bar.

Seriously, what taken man (or woman) would be at a bar on the most romantic time of the year? My point exactly.  Big V falls on a Thursday this year, and what is Thursday? Industry night.  And what is industry night? The best night.  Let’s face it, only the cool cats hang out on days that start with T.  And you’ll be one of them.

3. Anti-V Day Parties are the new romance!

This year, I’m headed to a singles anti-V day party. I’m so stoked. Check out your local night clubs and bars for great parties going on exclusively for singles. No sweats for you ladies, put on your most electric blue dress to counter the Dead Sea out there.  Just celebrate you and your… freedom!  And who knows? By the end of the night – you may just spend it with a special someone of your own… or more than one special someone!  Go get em’ lioness.

4. Go to the gym.

Go to the gym. That’s it. That’s all I’ve got.  Whatever steam or anxiety or sadness you’re feeling, the gym always seems to relieve all the tension.  Work on yourself.  Also again…a taken man/woman at the gym on the most romantic day of the year? It’s questionable.

Here’s to being single on Valentine’s Day!

And, how many times have you asked a friend who’s in a relationship what they are doing for Viagra Day and their answers have been either:

a. I don’t know, I’ll probably give Jill flowers and chocolates

or

b. Ya, Bill isn’t the romantic type, so whatever, we’re probably not doing anything.

You my friend… you will be doing something! Something even your coupled friends will want to do.

In reality, chocolates are fattening, cards collect dust and flowers die.  So, you just need to love yourself, pamper yourself, and enjoy you’re singledom! Because one day you might be Jill dating Bill and would kill to be singling and mingling on a T night.  Just saying.

Just remember, when you do find a man or woman, it’s about showering you with love every single day, not just on that one inevitable day.

I’ll be seeing you in my dancin’ shoes.

La Blonde xx