_This man is unlike any man I've ever dated. You'll soon find out why. He came out of left field - kind of one of those situations where he's 'right under your nose' but you never really noticed him. The Thai boxing gym that I belong to is a grungy room full of testosterone...on steroids: sweaty men grappling each other MMA style, chin-up douches, wannabe street fighter cockiness, battle scars, overdose of Underarm spandex, cocky six-packs, veiny bulging biceps... basically, my heaven.  Something about two men beating each other up gets my juices flowing... anyone else?  I was too busy checking out the sexy Russian man who hardly spoke any English and performing his one-armed-KGB-army-style pushups to notice my soon-to-be Gym Crush. 

Gym Crush didn't come to the gym very often, but when he did he always made a point to smile at me from across the room. This then led to thoughts of 'hey- you're hot, where have you been?'  which then lead up to small gym talk like 'I like your boxing gloves' , followed by the good ole' 'Add me to Facebook'  man trick (AKA so I can see what you look like other than in a pool of your own sweat) to then having actual conversation on Facebook, to the ever-so-smooth 'it's so much easier to text each other, so here's my number', to actually having text conversation, to 'let's grab a bite to eat after the gym', to actually going out to dinner and somehow end up watching movies at each others houses - PG style - and the next thing you know you're pretty much dating. And you've now got yourself a real Gym Crush.  So, that pretty much sums up how Date #18 went down.  Steroid environment or not, it's really refreshing to not have met someone from the click of a mouse behind an LED screen.  It's much more organic.

When I go to my kickboxing gym, I literally look and feel like anything but a woman - not a stitch of makeup, hair in a bun, over-sized sweatpants, a t-shirt, smelly hand wrap covered by even smellier boxing gloves, a plastic mouth guard, I look mad all the time and act overly aggressive, I'm an emotional wreck, swear like a motherfucker and not to mention I'm wet head to toe in my own perspiration. I'm gorgeous.  For any man to think that I'm real cute in that situation has either been beat in the head too many times, or he's desperate. But I'll take what I can get.

It's unfortunate that none of you have seen my actual dates, you only have vague images to which I've tried to describe to you. This one is different. Gym Crush is a whole new level of man I've dated. Ever see the movie Wedding Crashers? (If you haven't, I'm judging you) Remember the scene at the wedding where Owen Wilson is trying to convince Vince Vaughan to go to the country club where Rachel McAdams will be:

"Completely different situation. She was a very family-oriented girl." - Vince Vaughan
"Yeah." - Owen Wilson
"That was my first Asian!" - Vince Vaughan

And welcome to my Gym Crush. I've never really been attracted to Asian men in my dating career, nor have they really been attracted to me. He's the buffest Asian man I've ever seen, super into fitness and cross training, super laid back, super sweet, super easy going with a super sexy job - a job with a uniform. Just saying. He bought a condo by the lake, has an SUV, great sense of style. Need I go on?

The date:
He asked me out many times, and many times I declined. I finally gave in when he suggested a "gym date" where he and I would go for a run together before class and then he offered to train me one-on-one and then 'maybe grab a healthy bite to eat after'. Uh huh, I knew where this was going. His persistence finally made me cave and I accepted.  I survived a 45 minute run, mainly because it was nice to see his bubble butt run ahead of me whenever there was another pedestrian on the side walk. He's an excellent Thai boxer and he taught me many moves I could use for my upcoming fight (PS. I fight!) Basically, I now have my own personal trainer - at no extra cost. Ki-yah!

Since I'm STILL on a no-carb-death-diet, and my willpower is slowly decreasing (someone shove a burger and poutine in my face before I snap) I offered for him to come back to my place for a light lunch instead of being tempted by a delicious restaurant style meal. Again, very casually. My house is just up the street from the gym, so it was very convenient. I whipped up something real quick - and he ate it (bonus) and we ended up chatting for four ‏hours on my couch. Oh, I did laundry while he was there too... marriage? He claims to be socially awkward, but with me he didn't stop talking. I learned a lot about him in such a short amount of time: he's Chinese, from the Philippines so he's much darker skinned, doesn't speak a lick of Asian, speaks French however, has two older brothers and a sister, he has a niece and a nephew, parents whom are still together, had many long term relationships, loves to travel, etc. Soon it was time to head back to the gym (we're hardcore). We didn't partner up together, but I kept secretly eyeballing him throughout the class. Damn, I thought... is this really happening?

The next day, we texted each other back and forth throughout the day - not the annoying, meaningless messaging but just right amount.  I had to work a 9-5 that day and had to rush home through dirty Toronto traffic to make it for boxing class that night - when I got this:

"I know you won't have enough time to eat before class, so I'll bring you dinner."

And I died. He actually bought me a salad from Fresh - spinach, tuna, apple, onion, etc. WHO does that?!  I've been so used to guys not texting back, or being boring as fuck, or just wanting to fuck that Gym Crush's honest gesture severely yanked at my heart strings. He handed me the salad after class, said 'bye!' and scurried off, nervously.

I saw him the next day, and the day after that. Saturday after work, he personally trained my ass (literally my ass - I've lost most of it with all this dieting and I'm on a serious mission to get it back. Brazilians will be jealous of me, once I'm through with this!) then he took me out for dinner and we went back to his place to watch a movie - PG. Not a kiss, not a cuddle, not a touch. He's a genuine sweetheart.

I guess you could say this is Date #18,19,20,21, etc. But we'll just go with #18 for now.

I'm smitten by him, and it's scary. One thing that weighs sort of heavy on my mind - and perhaps on the minds minds of other ladies reading this... UGH - don't judge me people, but it's bloody important!!!

You know what they say about Asian men....................................small hands, small feet, small everything.
I guess there's only one way to find out?

I'll DICK-tate the goods as I get them (Sorry, too easy)

La Blonde xx

So, you know absolutely nothing about NFL football.
But you’ve heard talk about a so called “Super Bowl” going on tonight. And like any young, hip, fun chick you’re heading to the bar with your friends to go celebrate the big game, duh. Maybe even invited to a Super Bowl Party? Even though you have no idea who’s playing, how many points a touch down is, or wait… what’s a touch down?

 I’m here to provide you with a little quick insight on how to ‘look’ like a total sports buff, and even carry a convo without looking like you’re just jumping on the pretend-football-I’m-just-here-to-check-out-all-the-hot-jocks-at-the-bar-bandwagon. Slash, the best bandwagon to be on. Ever. I love that bandwagon.

Mixed with a little liquid courage, you're sure to impress any dude (or lady!!) at tonight's Super Bowl!

So, let’s fake it ‘til we make a 43-yard touchdown pass:

Things you’ll need to know about tonight's big game:

1. 47th Super Bowl: Baltimore Ravens vs. San Francisco 49ers

2. 49ers looking for their 6th championship, Ravens looking for their 2nd

3. Super Bowl 47 is being played in New Orleans

4. Battle of the brothers: Opposing coaches are brothers – The Harbaugh brothers
(Ravens Coach John Harbaugh vs. 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh)

5. Joe Flacco – Ravens quarterback (veteran player)

6. Colin Kaepernick – 49ers quarterback (newer player)

7. A touchdown = 6 points, that team has option for an extra point (kicking the ball between the goal posts) OR option to run in the ball into the enzone= 2 points.

8. 11 players in total, 4 downs – each team has 4 “downs” or tries to make a touchdown.

9. Winning players earn $88,000 each; losing players earn $44,000 each

10. Don’t worry too much about the plays, or how really the game plays…it's so varied, no one really knows.


Fun Super Bowl Facts:

1.      Over 100M people will watch in the U.S. alone; in 2012 there were 111.3 million viewers

2.      $800 is the lowest face value of a ticket

3.      Last year, fans spent $125 million for chicken wings

4.      National Chicken Council predicts people in the U.S. will eat 1.23 billion chicken wings during Super Bowl weekend

5.      The Vince Lombardi Trophy is awarded to the winning team is sterling silver trophy created by Tiffany

6.      Halftime show preformed by Beyoncé… you go girl!!

7.      3,581,385 have attended Super Bowl games

8.       The game will be played in 185 countries and broadcast in 30 languages.

So, now that you're a pro in NFL football, go engage in a confident grid-iron chat with that good-looking jock across the bar that's been eyeballin' you all day!

Remember to occasionally yell "what kind of a pass was that!" or "Woah, did you see that hit?!" while you're at it. That always helps.

As for me, I'll be rooting for the 49ers - they seem to be doing everything that the Ravens are also doing just a little bit better. Their QB is way young, but super dynamic and has been unreal all season. Although, San Fran may be slightly more diverse and may have the advantage, the Ravens have some serious heart and passion for the sport. It will all come down to forced power vs. heart power.

See, I just faked it.... could you tell?

Enjoy yourselves!

La Blonde #18 xx

_I really couldn't have asked for a better first of fifty-two dates than the one I had with The Joker. 

I met this gem (surprisingly) online. For our first live encounter, he suggested we grab a coffee and take a stroll through one of Toronto's many beautiful parks. (Slash, sure.... take me to a private wooded area, you random stranger. That's a great idea!) The area in which the park was located was unfamiliar to me, so seeing as I had nothing else planned for that day, I thought I'd go early and scope out the scene. Basically, check for cell phone signals, local police stations, emergency escape routes. You know, the usual. Planning the 'perfect' outfit is always a must, so I decided to stick with my go-to number - a pair of black shorts with a sheer, flowy peach-coloured long sleeved top and a pair of flat shoes, just in case the 5'11" height description in his online dating profile was actually closer to 5'2".

After about an hour of roaming the streets of somewhere in the Great Toronto Area, and great cellphone signal later, The Joker and I's fate was finally about to be determined. We decided to meet at a romantic subway entrance location. He was about 15 minutes early (kind of annoying, but points for being prompt?) I told him I'd be right there, but... somehow I misjudged how far a distance the subway stop actually was from me. I soon realized I was no where near our intended meeting spot. Pretty much... I was lost. A wild goose chase then set out to find my exact GPS location. In fact, The Joker actually had to hop onto the subway and head one stop west just to arrive closer to where I was. How embarrassing. To make matters worse, I was speed walking in what was one of the hottest days that Toronto had felt in forever, and my makeup was maybe dripping down my face. By the time we actually met up, my legs felt like jello and my top resembled more of dark orange colour than peach. I tried to play it off like the sweaty look was in. He asked if I was still cool with going for a walk. (He definitely wore his Nike Shox as if we were going on some kind of hike) Almost collapsing at the thought, I instead suggested we take a walk directly... to the bar. Luckily, he's Irish, so he was immediately up for a beer.

First impressions: not bad at all. He's the 'skinny athletic' type, the type where you can eat whatever, whenever and still look ab-o-licious. (I hate those people). Pretty blue eyes, and light brown hair styled in that messy, hipster way. Nice smile. He had this kind of 'I'm too cool for school' attitude about him.  But not in the overly cocky, juice-monkey, I pump iron, stick my chest out like a puffin, my shit don't stink - kind of way.  He had just enough stink. Our conversation went really well and never skipped a beat. We (I) chugged the first beer and then ordered a second without hesitation. He was a lot less Joker/ nerdy than he was via his texts. Sending me knock, knock and why did the chicken cross the road jokes gave me complete nerd vibes, but in person he's definitely got more of a jock swag. Which, I secretly love. He knew a lot about sports, we shared our disgust with the NHL's looming lockout, we had the same sarcastic sense and we were able to keep up with each others' witty banter. He also seemed genuinely into what I had to say; asked the right questions; said the right things; reacted in the right way. Overall, the interview went really well.

Earlier in the week, I fibbed a little and said I had to work super early the next day, just in case of an emergency escape, naturally. So after the second beer, aka I well deserved break the seal moment, The Joker had asked for the bill...and paid!  Check mark!  

As we walked towards the subway to part ways, we poked fun at each others' taste in music, slash he likes indie music (barf) said our goodbyes, and gave each other an awkward first date hug.  I passed out like a homeless man on the subway. The next day, I received a text message from The Joker telling me about the fun he had and how he hopes to do it again soon. Like I said, if all 51 next dates can be as good as this (second half) one, I may survive!

To be continued...........

La Blonde xx