_ Ever gone on a date, more specifically, an online date where pictures in their profile are in fact the complete opposite of what they look like in person? Welcome to my date #4 -- “The Imposter”. This has never actually happened to me, in my dozens of online dates, so this was my first real photo imposter encounter.
I'm not shallow by any means in the real world, (I swear, ask my mom!) but when you enter the online dating world, it's almost like second nature to be a judgmental, shallow snob. You judge people solely by their looks, followed by their height, age, profession, horoscope sign and how they describe their personality traits and idea of ‘the perfect first date’ in a little description box beneath their profile. If a dude writes a novel about himself in his profile; he's self-involved and/or desperate. If a dude writes too little in his profile; he's a pompous jackass, and/or lacks communication skills. It's a lose-lose situation. Basically, you judge no matter what.
I was instantly attracted to The Imposter by…his beauty! He was beautiful. I couldn’t imagine a guy with such beautiful green eyes, cool style AND plays hockey could be online dating! This is a very rare sighting…
As we started to chat back and forth, I started noticing a few, slash, a million spelling errors (the typical your vs. you’re; their vs. there; who’s vs. whose, etc) and I sometimes felt like I was talking to a 15-year-old jock receiving messages like ‘helo, wat r u up too this wkend’. But, again, trying not to be a shallow bitch, I decided to look past his grade three level grammar.
We finally decided to meet at a location that was convenient for the both of us, since he lived way west of the city, Mississauga seemed fair-ish. As I waited anxiously for his arrival, I saw a man walk into the restaurant with a leather/pleather jacket, a full beard, longish-spikey hair and was definitely not 6’0. I thought 'this can’t be my date'…. Seconds after my doubt, the words ‘I’m here’' appeared on my iPhone. Enter The Imposter. I wondered if he could hear my thoughts screaming ‘You are NOT is the beautiful man I saw online! Where is he?!’ Again, trying not to be a shallow bitch, I gave The Imposter the benefit of the doubt.
Convo went fairly normal. We talk about our passion for traveling, our next Halloween costumes, our jobs, etc. I tried really hard to be into him. I kept trying to find the green eyed God I saw online. I swear, I think he had photoshoped his eyeballs to appear more perfect. Not to mention, his pictures must have been taken 10 years ago and he prob hadn't hit the gym since.
Fast forward three glasses of Merlot later, I was way buzzed and ready to leave. The bill arrived, and no one made a move. 10 minutes later, nothing. 15 minutes, still nothing. Finally, after the waitress came by twice, I reached for the bill. It was just over 40 bucks. I mentioned I had credit, he said he did too. Uh huh. So, I threw down my credit card… waited for his reaction, watched him awkwardly grab his wallet and siffle through a wad of twenties. He then handed me one of them. “Here,” he said. Disgusted, I grabbed it and vowed never to see this man again. Not only are you an imposter, you are a cheap bastard.
I’m all for going 'Dutch' and I’m NOT a gold digger, but I am a bit old school; you’re the man, you asked me out, you chose the location, you don’t look like you do in your profile pics, you pay for the 1st date. I will gladly pay for the 2nd and 3rd and 4th, should it come to that.
Needless to say, there wasn’t a 2nd or 3rd or 4th. He did ask me to go out again for dinner that week… I had to break the news politely that I just wasn’t interested. It took every ounce of my soul not to tell him to accurately update his online account, and let him know for the future to try and grab that $40 bill if he wanted to break free from those judgmental, snobby bitches from the online world. He just made all of our judging legit.
So, have I turned into a shallow monster? Or do I have the right to be a little peeved at this particular situation? I’d love to get your thoughts on this…
Oh, bring on date #5… I can’t fucking wait.
La Blonde xx
I'm not shallow by any means in the real world, (I swear, ask my mom!) but when you enter the online dating world, it's almost like second nature to be a judgmental, shallow snob. You judge people solely by their looks, followed by their height, age, profession, horoscope sign and how they describe their personality traits and idea of ‘the perfect first date’ in a little description box beneath their profile. If a dude writes a novel about himself in his profile; he's self-involved and/or desperate. If a dude writes too little in his profile; he's a pompous jackass, and/or lacks communication skills. It's a lose-lose situation. Basically, you judge no matter what.
I was instantly attracted to The Imposter by…his beauty! He was beautiful. I couldn’t imagine a guy with such beautiful green eyes, cool style AND plays hockey could be online dating! This is a very rare sighting…
As we started to chat back and forth, I started noticing a few, slash, a million spelling errors (the typical your vs. you’re; their vs. there; who’s vs. whose, etc) and I sometimes felt like I was talking to a 15-year-old jock receiving messages like ‘helo, wat r u up too this wkend’. But, again, trying not to be a shallow bitch, I decided to look past his grade three level grammar.
We finally decided to meet at a location that was convenient for the both of us, since he lived way west of the city, Mississauga seemed fair-ish. As I waited anxiously for his arrival, I saw a man walk into the restaurant with a leather/pleather jacket, a full beard, longish-spikey hair and was definitely not 6’0. I thought 'this can’t be my date'…. Seconds after my doubt, the words ‘I’m here’' appeared on my iPhone. Enter The Imposter. I wondered if he could hear my thoughts screaming ‘You are NOT is the beautiful man I saw online! Where is he?!’ Again, trying not to be a shallow bitch, I gave The Imposter the benefit of the doubt.
Convo went fairly normal. We talk about our passion for traveling, our next Halloween costumes, our jobs, etc. I tried really hard to be into him. I kept trying to find the green eyed God I saw online. I swear, I think he had photoshoped his eyeballs to appear more perfect. Not to mention, his pictures must have been taken 10 years ago and he prob hadn't hit the gym since.
Fast forward three glasses of Merlot later, I was way buzzed and ready to leave. The bill arrived, and no one made a move. 10 minutes later, nothing. 15 minutes, still nothing. Finally, after the waitress came by twice, I reached for the bill. It was just over 40 bucks. I mentioned I had credit, he said he did too. Uh huh. So, I threw down my credit card… waited for his reaction, watched him awkwardly grab his wallet and siffle through a wad of twenties. He then handed me one of them. “Here,” he said. Disgusted, I grabbed it and vowed never to see this man again. Not only are you an imposter, you are a cheap bastard.
I’m all for going 'Dutch' and I’m NOT a gold digger, but I am a bit old school; you’re the man, you asked me out, you chose the location, you don’t look like you do in your profile pics, you pay for the 1st date. I will gladly pay for the 2nd and 3rd and 4th, should it come to that.
Needless to say, there wasn’t a 2nd or 3rd or 4th. He did ask me to go out again for dinner that week… I had to break the news politely that I just wasn’t interested. It took every ounce of my soul not to tell him to accurately update his online account, and let him know for the future to try and grab that $40 bill if he wanted to break free from those judgmental, snobby bitches from the online world. He just made all of our judging legit.
So, have I turned into a shallow monster? Or do I have the right to be a little peeved at this particular situation? I’d love to get your thoughts on this…
Oh, bring on date #5… I can’t fucking wait.
La Blonde xx
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